reality sets in.

Now that I am all moved in, I finally feel like a free person.
However, reality is setting in that I don't have my mother here to cook me food, or to do the laundry.

it is all up to me!


Just like any freshman, I am trying to find out, where I belong and who I should be hanging around. It is so nerv-racking knowing that I don't have my best friend here to be with.

To my lovely family:


:{


I miss you so much D:

But soon I shall be home!

no more days i'm at college!

TOday was my first day at college,
and it was

SUPER AWESOME :D

below are pictures :]






Waking up at 6 AM to work out with Lauren (my roommate)
then more orentation AL DAY :]


super.

day 32. apology

The past couple days I haven’t been in the mood to write a blog.
Tonight is no difference.
Sorry.

day 31

good day :]



ish.


no car for college.


but i went shopping.

the end.


p.s

sorry i haven't been posting anything good.
i've been too busy to think about anything.

Love,
Me :D

Day 30. Switching Things Up.

HAI!
So this is Becca's best friend Halle :)
and i'm really kool and hacked her blogg!
be jealous d00d!

sooooo i'm quite sad because this lovely lady that i have known for 6 almost 7 years is leaving me in 4 days...
like... whhaattt.
she has always been 5 minutes away from me...
><

so all i know is that LA is gunna become my second home, and that's better than nothing :)

But i just wanna say how much i love you becca.
you're amazing.
i have learned so much from you.
you have always been there for me.
your love is everlasting.
your my best friend.
thank you.

i shall be thinking of you everyday
:)




I LOVE YOU!!

you're the best :)
<3

DAy 29. Regret

“Don’t regret anything because at one time it made you happy.”

You see…I usually fallow that…

But tonight is full of it.

See there was this guy in high school…
I liked him a lot…but I didn’t have the guts to tell him.
But tonight, for some reason…we talked, and he said he liked me.
And I was like

FAIL!
D:


It was like a big face palm..

Hah.

Disneyland tomorrow! Super excitedddd :]



And then its packing time


It’s weird that I’m leaving San Diego in 5 days…
It doesn’t feel like it at all >.<

D:
Well goodnight!
Have to get ready to see mickey and Minnie tomorrow
:D
<3

Day 28. Nothing

No blog tonight.

Nothing good to talk about

butttt


Here is a LOLCat :]

Day 27

To create the life of your dreams, the time has come for you to love You. Focus on Your joy. Do all the things that make You feel good. Love You, inside and out. Everything will change in your life, when you change the inside of you. Allow the Universe to give you every good thing you deserve.
^
^
^
i saw this on some girl's facebook as her status...and i thought that was so beautiful.

i belive that before you can love anyone, you have to loev yourself.


When given an assignment from school 3/4 weeks before school acutally starts...
i have one piece of advice.

DO NOT PROCRASTINATE.

out of 19 chapters, i read about 5 untill today.

and boy.

that was annoying.


6 days before i move, and i'm so excited.

<3

Me

day 26: Almost time

A week fom tomorrow I will be moving in to AJU.
And BOY am I happy.

The end.

Day 25 Taller than me

OHHHH HURROW ^.^





Today was the first time I saw my brother since he left for camp,
And not only was he SUPER skinny..
He is now officially taller than me!

D:

My life is coming to an end!

I’m so short :[ :[ :[

Today was such a long drive, but I’m happy to be home and sleeping in my bed..

Well at least for the next 9 days!

I’m so excited to move out…however I am nervous.

What if nothing goes the way that I planned it?

Well nothing goes the way you plan it anyways…

Well, I should only think about the positive things…

Likeeeeee how awesome my roomie is,
how amazing the college is,
and how fortunate I am to have the opportunity to go to an amazing school like AJU :]


I think thats about it for tonight...i wish i had something sort of interersting to talk about....
but nothing comes to mind.

so night night <3


Love Always,

Day 24. coming home

Today I spent the day with my cousins Derek and Heather, and it was so much fun! We took a nice walk and saw a beautiful view of San Fran, then went to dinner at this amazing Mexican place!
Even though I really needed a vacation, I am ready to come home. I miss sleeping in my bed, and I miss my puppies D:

It is always nice to take a vacation, getting away from all the unnecessary people that waste your time.

Anywhoooooo…I move into college in 10 days. And I am SO excited.
I have the roommate I want, and we are going to have a BLAST!

Not to much to say tonight, hopefully something else will happen tomorrow
Nighty Night :]


Love,

Day 23: A little late

Yes, i know its already 3:15 AM, but i didn't post a blog tonight.
I had a pretty rough day.


Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go. ~Author Unknown


Finding out someone you care about cheated on you...hurts.

(yes mom and did this is what happened, but i'm fine)

I've done nothing in the world to deserve the way he treated me. I deserve better.

He didn't even have to tell me. its funny he wasn't ashamed to put it on facebook either.

facebook is lame.


I am coming home tomorrow, and i am so happy. I'm glad i got to get away from everything/everyone for a week, however it is time to return home.

Besides, i'm out of the house in about 10 days anyways :D

Goodnight.

I promise tomorrrow's blog will be moer eventful :D

Day 22: Bull Shit

Today I stood in line for about 4 hours, just to get a wristband.

I’ve stated debating if I actually want to try out for this.

I’m so over the whole

“I don’t know why all these fake bitches are here…I”M the next American idol!”


COME ON! How cocky can you get?!?!?!?!!

Any ways, I’ve had a lot of things on my mind lately.
I don’t know what exactly.
I’ve had streaks of feeling alone, depressed. And then I have streaks of feeling happy and joyful.
I’ve had a lot of B.S go in and out of my life. B.S boyfriends, friends and experiences.
I just want something that will last. A best friend, someone to share my love with, and experiences that will last a lifetime.
That is why I’m excited to move to LA in 2 weeks. Yes, LA. But still, it is the college of my dreams…I couldn’t think of a better place that I’d want to go!


Any ways, I have to read this book for school called ,” the impossible will take a while : a citizen’s guide to hope in a time of fear”

Wtf.
Goodnight :]
<3

Day 21. American Idol

Today was a looooooooooong day.

I left San Diego at 11:00 am when I was planning to leave around 9:00 am

The 7 hour drive turned into an 8 hour one; however it was so much fun

The whole ride was spent singing songs along with Michael constantly petting my hair! XD


I am sitting on the couch at my cousins right now, with her brand new baby twins =]

So cute.

Sean and Ethan!




Dad, if you are watching this. Erin say’s that you are welcome. Hanging with these twins for 4 nights is enough birth control for ever =]

Tomorrow is American Idol check in, and I’m pretty amped!

I’m going to sing Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley ;]
So excited.

Well night time!

Lilah Tov!!!!

Day 20. Breath of fresh air

Today was a good day.
^thats for you Seth!


I went to Balboa Park with a friend from Israel

And we pretty much walked around the WHOLE park:]

It was a beautiful day, and it felt nice just to get out.
I had alot of things on my mind from last night, but it was so nice just going out and forgetting about the problems.

it was a nice breath of fresh air

We went into the house of Israel, Pakistan (which was actually a tent not a house), China and Germany

Then we went into the museum of photography.
Awesome stuff…the photography was beautiful.

:]


Well, I am off to begin my journey to san Francisco in the morning, and I cannot wait to begin!

7 hour drive with my friend Michael, we got muffins and everything!


Then here we come AMERICAN IDOL :]


Yepp. You heard that correctly.

I’m trying out for American Idol!

Keep your fingers crossed for me!


Talk to ya’ll on the flipside!

Day 19. When the past catches up to you

Tonight was kind of a rough night.

I began packing for college,

and I ran into a couple things…

that I wish I didn’t.

In 7th and 8th grade,
I did not have that many friends.
I was picked on,
and I was not well liked.
People wrote me notes
which were not the nicest things.

I’ve moved on,
however,
running into those letters tonight made me realize how much stronger I’ve become.

“Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me”

Right now,
I am happy and content with my life.
I have people in my life that I care about,
a college that I fell in love with,
and a future I am looking forward to.
There is nothing anyone can do or say to change that.


the end

Day 18 Trust

Today was the last day of camp, and I was soo sad to see them go D: they were like my little children…but on the flip side of that…I get to sleep in now, and I have about 2 weeks left of summer!!

I’ve been having long conversations with a former graduate of the same high school as me,
and I have realized how I’m not alone on a lot of things.

That feeling that I’m going to be alone forever…the fear of the future: he has that too.


There are not that many people i trust in this world..

i have problems trusting people,
mainly becuase all the people i have trusted,
Because they broke that trust...

But there is one person that makes me comfortable trusting, and makes me not be afraid of the future. (You know who you are)
And I thank you for that. You’ve helped me for the past 3 years (seems longer than that) feel better about myself and make me feel oh so very special. You are one of the few people I trust in the crazy place we call earth. I am so grateful to have someone like you in my life…I can’t wait to see you in December. It’s going to be awesome:]


<3


Anywhoooo :]

San Francisco on Monday! So excited:]


I’ve been starting these shakes with my parents…and they are like protein shakes, which suppress your appetite for a period of time….and its so cool! I’m like never hungry!

Hopefully it will help me loose weight!!!

Well, that is all for tonight.

have to let someone go to sleep :] ahha.
Goodnight <3

Technically Day 17!

**I KNOW I MISSED A DAY….whoops….***

It’s complicated, it always is. That’s just the way it goes. Feels like I’ve waited so long for this, I wonder if it shows…and underwater now I can’t breathe…it never felt so good. Because I can feel it coming over me, I wouldn’t stop it if I could. When love takes over…

Tonight is just another one of those nights…

So I’m not going to write a lot to night.

But yah….
I guess that’s it.


Here is a nice pictuer

Day 17. Blah

First of all, I know none of my campers are going to read this, but I am
SO PROUD OF YOU GUYS!
You all rocked it tonight!

:]

Today was an “ish” day….

I feel so alone lately..

Every day (until this Friday…cause it’s the last day of work!!!)

-I wake up at 7:30

-Go to work until 4

-come home

-MSN date

-dinner

-sleep

I just feel like my life is so unproductive

Hopefully that will all change when I move!

MY NEW COMPUTER CAME IN THE MAIL TODAY :}

It’s the HP DM4:]

So adorable!!!!!


But on to the more serious stuff…

:/

I duno.

Just one of those nights?


I have to wake up early…

So I’m going to end this blog

With a LOL cat :]


Night :]

Day 16.Special day

Happy Wednesday!


Lately I’ve been listening to a lot of musicals...

I just finished listening to Wicked.

“I’ve heard it said…that people come into our lives, for a reason
Bringing something we must learn, and we are led to those
Who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Now I don’t know if I believe that’s true
But I know I’m who I am today because I knew you.”

Such a beautiful song…



“Just for this moment
As long as your mine
I’ve lost all resistance
And crossed the boarderline
And if it turns our
Its over to fast,
I’ll make every last moment last
As long as your mine”

You know who this is too <3


Today was an extra special day today..


A relationship with a friend was re-kindled..

And a person who means a lot to me said something great :]

It just come to show, that when times are down….and you are sad...

Don’t be too sad…because it always comes back up.

As I said in yesterday’s blog…

“It will get better in the end, and if it doesn’t get better…than it isn’t the end”

Day 14. Happy Birthday!

HAPPY “BIRTHDAY” TO MEEE!!

So I went out to dinner with Cali tonight…

she decided to tell the waiters at 2 DIFFERENT places,

that it was my birthday…(which it isn’t).

But hey, I got a sombrero!


^
^
^

PACMAN FOOOD! :]
Love this picture..




Anywhoo.
I move in about 19 days…and I’m super excited.
It is hard to belive that I’m going to be out of san diego in2 weeks…
Its so exciting.

I’m tryring out for American Idol this weekend with a friend :]
WISH ME LUCK!!


On a personal note, i'm sorry if i haven't been talking to you lately..

I've just been...going through some personal stuff lately..
which has made me anti social.

but hey-
everything gets better in the end..

and if it doesn't get better,

then it isn't the end.

Day 13. Question Marrk

Home sweet home :]

Its good to be home…

I had a lot of fun at the wedding, but I am glad to be home!

I don’t really have that much to talk about…

because not that much happened today.

Hmmmm


Anything?



nothing is coming to me..


oh well!

i hope something comes to me tomorow!

Lilah Tov!
Goodnight,

Day 12. Same Sex Marriage

Today I went to my cousin Rebecca’s and her partner Cat’s wedding. And in all honesty, it was really powerful.

The love they had for each other was amazing.

I’ve never cried at a wedding before,

but at this one I did.

And I think I know why.

In my opinion, a wedding between a man and a woman is so cliché.

Now, I’m not saying GO LESBIAN! Cause it’s the cool thing to do!

But I don’t think people should be ashamed of being gay/lesbian.

I’ve never heard wedding vows like they did.

I’ve never seen two people look at each other the way they did.

That my friends, is what I call love.

P.S I’m watching the news right now, and it said the Governor is changing his mind-he says that the state should start performing same sex marriage :]

I believe that everyone deserves the right to marry WHO they want to.

If you love someone, you should have the right to make it legal.

Just because most people are “traditional”, doesn’t mean that there is room for change.

Day 11. San Francisco

Hello from San Francisco!

Right now I am in Walnut Creek, in a very small hotel with my lovely mother and father!


SHOUT OUT TO MY FATHER

(as promised) love you daddy!

Tonight I hung out with my two brand new cousins Sean and Ethan!
They are so cute!
Seeing the two brand new additions to the family,

it made me begin to think about the future (again).

It makes me wonder what kind of decisions I’m going to make when I am older.

Things like who I’m going to marry, how many kids I’m going to have, if I’ll be able to have kids…etc

But I won’t worry about that right now;
I’m just at the beginning of my life!
Speaking of which, 23 DAYS until I move:]

I’m so excited to begin the next chapter of my life at American Jewish University!

Okay so I was google-ing “blog topcs” and I found something about tounge tattoo’s

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ABOUT?!?!?!?!

OUCH!


Here is what it said:
Tattoos are a hot commodity these days, becoming more and more popular than they have ever been in the past. There are hundreds and thousands of different designs and styles of tattoos to choose from, giving you the chance to express yourself. Although tattoos are very popular, the new trend that is rapidly taking effect in the world of tattoos is known as tongue tattoos.




Like honestly….are you kidding me?!?!?!
Is that what the world has come to these days?

What are you going to put there?

An arrow sign saying “enter here?” like oh lord….lordy lord lord.


Goodnight from San Fran :]

Day 10. Karma

In this picture above, the man is pushing a domino…and eventually it will hit him and kill him and he will die.

In our world, we call it “Karma”

Karma…

What goes around comes around.

The domino effect.

Do YOU believe in Karma…?

Because due to many recent events, I have came to the conclusion that this thing we call Karma..is a total and complete bitch.

You can talk shit on me...but it will come back to you.

For instance. This one guy, thinks he is SO COOL, that he can tell his girlfriend (who is one of my good friends) that we should go shopping at Torrid (the plus size goth store).

Which is funny. Cause I’m not plus size…

But the next day. He is single!


:]

Karma is a bitch.
Don’t mess with it.
*end karma rant*

Going to san fransisco tomorrow :]
YAY!

Day 9. Forgivness.

^this is a daisy...and like this daisy.. I was once a full colorful full of life living creature. But recent things have been sheading my pedals away.


People telling me i'm not good enough.
Loose a pedal

People telling me i won't be successful in the things i love..
Loose a pedal

People telling me something right to my face than saying the other..
Loose a pedal

People being my friend...and then just turning on me...
Loose the rest


Forgive and forget.
Forgive and forget.
Forgive and forget.


That’s what I have to keep telling myself…but why do I have such a problem doing that?

Once I got the apology I was hoping for…..why do I not feel satisfied? :[

You know who this is…if you are reading this.. I wish this was easier to solve…but I just don’t know how to fix this.
Forgive and forget.
Right?

Anyways, I’m going to san fransisco Friday for my cousin Rebecca’s wedding and I’m super excited.
Do you know what else I’m super excited for?
That prop 8 got overturned….yes, it will most likely get appealed
But still :] :]


Today I went shopping with Cali, and I had SO much trouble finding something to wear…so I’m gong to start dieting. I need to loose some LBS!!!!!!
Any ideas?
TTFN :]

Tuesday. Day 8

Happy Tuesday everyone:]

So here is what’s been on my mind today…
Everyone tells me to fallow my heart, and I will always be right..

But how am I supposed to know when it is right?


If I fallowed my heart every single time I thought it was right….oh lord would I have been screwed over.

So if you can answer me that then I will give you a cookie :]

Its scary knowing that i only have 3 weeks left in San Diego...I'm so excited to begin the new chapterr of my life at American Jewish University...but i'm nervous.

but BOY am i exited to get out of san diego! haha
:D

Here is some moer LOL cats…because I can’t think of anything else that’s on my mind :]





:D

Day 7

So to start off this blog, I’d like to give a shout out to the lovely tiggy <3




**disregard the fact that it looks like i'm about to bite him....***]


This is one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met. I can’t wait till I move closer to him, so I can hang with him and his lovely fiancé Jamie:) I haven't known tiggy for a long time, but ever since we first met, he has been there for me through everything. He is my Dr.Tiggy :]

LAAV YOU!


So tonight I went to dinner with my friend Cali
And we went to Samurai. An amazing Japanese place!
It was great! Our waitress’s name was sunny, but there was just one thing wrong about dinner tonight.

The majority of the people there arer Japanese. But therer was a waitres….who was white..she had like blonde hair, blue eyes…and she was NOT Japanese.
It just bugged me.







THIS IS MY FAVORITE LOL CATS :]

Day 6: On a sad note :/

Today is day 6 of my blog venture.

I feel like in a blog you should be writing things about how you feel, and what is on your mind. Today I had a good chance to reflect on how I’m feeling.


I had a conversation with a friend today, and I realized something. I’ve lost a lot of people in my life… mostly because of the things I’ve said.

Now, I’m not going go to through every person I’ve hurt… (And if I’ve hurt you personally, please message me…we can talk about it…?) But I am truly sorry for everything I’ve ever done to hurt a person.

I’ve matured. I’m not the attention-drama filled girl I used to be. Now that I’m off to college, I really want to make amends to the people I’ve hurt.


I’ve lost people I care about dearly, and I’ve just been bottling up my thoughts for years now.

Yes, there are times where I can be mean…but in general I’m a nice person. I don’t do things on purpose.. a lot of the times…when I talk about someone…its because I see a flaw in them…and seeing a flaw in someone means I’m not the only one that isn’t perfect.



It’s a confidence booster.

I don’t mean to hurt people…I really don’t :/

I guess that’s all for right now..

On a happier note..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MOMMY :}
Anddd
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AARON BEER!!!